The Position of Women in Society Has Changed Markedly In the Last Twenty Years - IELTS Band 9 Essay Samples

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Sample Essay 1

In recent decades, women’s societal roles have transformed significantly, with increasing numbers joining the workforce. Some argue that this shift has contributed to social issues among youth, including juvenile delinquency, due to reduced maternal presence at home. I strongly disagree with this viewpoint. The causes of youth misconduct are multifaceted and cannot be simplistically attributed to working mothers. This essay will explore how both parental responsibility and societal structures influence juvenile behaviour more critically than maternal employment alone.

Blaming working mothers for rising youth problems ignores broader dynamics that shape children’s development. First, effective parenting is not solely about physical presence but about emotional engagement and guidance—qualities that both mothers and fathers can provide. In many households, fathers or other caregivers are equally capable of fostering a nurturing environment. Moreover, many working mothers balance professional life with active parenting, aided by supportive policies such as flexible hours and parental leave. In contrast, households with stay-at-home mothers are not immune to problems; lack of education, poor communication, or economic stress can still foster unhealthy childhood behaviours. For instance, in Sweden, where maternal employment rates are high and gender roles more balanced, youth crime rates are significantly lower than in some nations with more traditional household models. This suggests that structured societal support, not maternal presence alone, is key to youth development.

Furthermore, attributing juvenile delinquency to mothers working outside the home oversimplifies the root causes, which often lie in socioeconomic inequalities, peer influence, and media exposure. In an era where digital distractions dominate, even children with full-time caregivers are not necessarily better supervised. Additionally, underfunded schools, limited access to mental health care, and unsafe neighbourhoods can all contribute to behavioural issues in young people. Placing the burden of societal decay on women not only reinforces outdated gender stereotypes but also distracts from addressing systemic problems. A more holistic approach that includes community engagement, education reform, and equitable economic policies is essential to tackle youth issues effectively.

In conclusion, the rise in juvenile problems cannot be causally linked to the increasing participation of women in the workforce. Rather, it is a complex issue rooted in broader societal challenges, and addressing it requires collective responsibility and structural change, not regressive blame.

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Sample Essay 2

Over the past two decades, the role of women in modern society has undergone a profound transformation, particularly through increased participation in the workforce. While this shift marks undeniable progress in gender equality, it has also created unintended social consequences. I fully agree that the growing number of working mothers has contributed to problems such as juvenile delinquency. This essay will argue that diminished parental supervision and emotional absence at home play a critical role in the behavioural decline of young people.

One of the most direct consequences of maternal employment is the significant reduction in parental supervision during a child’s formative years. In households where both parents work long hours, children are often left in the care of inadequate alternatives—rushed caregivers, digital devices, or even unsupervised environments. This vacuum creates fertile ground for antisocial behaviour. Crucially, young children require consistent emotional guidance and boundaries, which cannot be outsourced to schools or technology. Studies in the UK, for instance, have shown a correlation between increased maternal workforce participation and rising behavioural issues among adolescents, particularly in urban settings. Moreover, mothers historically played a stabilising role in nurturing moral development and emotional resilience. When this anchor weakens due to external career demands, children may seek validation from peers or online influences, many of which promote rebellion and risk-taking. Hence, the decline in direct parental presence—especially maternal—can severely compromise youth behavioural outcomes.

Equally concerning is the erosion of family cohesion and emotional availability within households where parents, particularly mothers, are burdened by professional stress. Even when physically present, emotionally drained parents may struggle to engage meaningfully with their children. This emotional disconnect fosters alienation, anxiety, and in some cases, aggressive conduct among youth. Traditional family structures once offered stability through shared meals, conversation, and active involvement in children’s academic and social lives. Today, the hurried pace of dual-income homes often replaces these moments with transactional interactions. For example, in countries like Japan, where “karoshi” (death by overwork) affects both genders, youth mental health has deteriorated in tandem with parental burnout. This suggests that emotional availability—not just presence—is central to a child’s development, and that working mothers, despite their best intentions, may unintentionally contribute to emotional neglect and behavioural issues in their children.

In summary, while women’s integration into the workforce represents social advancement, it has inadvertently led to weakened supervision and reduced emotional presence at home—both key contributors to rising youth behavioural problems. The well-being of the younger generation demands a re-evaluation of how modern families balance work and child-rearing.

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